Week 59

There are those who do not wish to be associated with my words, to those people I say thank you. You open my eyes to truth. Writing is a continuous process of showing up and learning. I am doing both. I do not wish to cause harm or embarrassment to anyone (other than myself according to some). If I have or you are afraid that I might then you are probably correct to avoid me.

I appreciate those who show no fear for I am truly harmless and love you. Those of you who are afraid or think that I am an embarrassment I love you as well, you are always welcome, because I am one of you. That’s why I write, I am always afraid and sometimes embarrassed although I am being taught and learning to walk through those fears and embarrassments to get to places where I have never been or need to be. With that said though I would like to think that I never turn my back on a friend or someone who needs my help no matter how stupid they get. Believe me I've known some junkies, crackheads, meth freaks, drunks, and all around crazies who I could have, but you know what happens then? Sometimes they end up sleeping and dying from an overdose in the woods, killing themselves from depression, or drinking themselves to death. There are far worse fates then being embarrassed by a few stupid words.

 

I was told once at work about taking on certain projects by my boss that you cannot pick and choose, you have to take on the bad or difficult ones as well as the easy or good ones. Well, I am living proof of that to my sponsors and mentors. I was also told once at work as a carpenter that if you don’t know what to do next just do something, stay busy and while you are sweeping or moving a ladder around that what you are supposed to do will come to you. I have made a life out of doing this…sometimes it works and sometimes I get frustrated and do nothing until someone comes along and tells me to get off my ass and do something. Hence, I write about what I am thinking to help me figure out what to do next. The only difference with me as I have stated many times before is that I post my thoughts to the world, crazy I know, but it gives more people an insight of when to kick me.

Writing has been presented to me for some reason and I am glad it was, it has helped me to understand myself and to meet people who have helped me in ways that were unimaginable before. I will do my best to use discretion when writing or posting, but no guarantees. For those critics who say that I have no dignity or integrity I say again “Thank You” for reading, thank you for having feelings, thank you for having opinions, thank you for expressing yourself, and thank you for sharing those feelings, opinions, and expressions of dislike in obvious or unobvious ways with me (kick in the ass?). Believe me when I say, I am listening and learning.

Thanks for letting me ramble, and let me give a shoutout to my friends, family, readers, teachers, and miscellaneous misfits that I meet every day. I may not have much and my writing might be terrible, lacking skills, and offensive at times but I am where I am supposed to be doing what I love.

Remember always that you are someone’s muse. Today you were mine.

Much Love and Peace

I'm going fishing...

Robert

2016