Trying to write the perfect line, the perfect rhyme, the perfect paragraph, phrase, or even sometimes just the perfect word is next to impossible if you think about it. If you don't think about it who cares if its perfect, I don't, I just write this shit and figure it out later. I would like to write something sensual that will turn you on, or perhaps something frightening that will scare you, or even something funny that will make you laugh. Oh well, guess not today. Today is just write something day...how about if I write something interesting that turns you on, frightens, and makes you laugh. That would be perfect.
Ok here goes; A naked ghost is hard to see....no, no, that's not it, lets try this; a horny spider ate Miss Muffet..., no, no, that's not it either, damn this is hard, I know you're getting frustrated, I'll hurry up..., no, no, I can't seem to find it, it's too dark, I'll have to try again. Damn it, I can't seem to get it right, lets see, maybe if I try harder..., no that's not working, maybe if the lights were on I could see what I was doing..., there that's better, oh no, what have I gotten myself into? Who are you? Do we know each other? This is frightening, but a little sensual, and actually pretty funny..., how did you get in here anyway? Well, now that you're here maybe you can help me, I'm trying to write something sensual, frightening, and funny, any ideas? Shut the fuck up, who would have ever thought of that? Damn, and I thought I was writing this, when really it was you all along. We better hurry before someone realizes what we're doing here together. What is it that we're doing by the way? Oh yeah, that's right, something sensual, frightening, and funny, hey! stop tickling me and take that bag off your head so I can see your face, or wait maybe leave it on..., that might be the frightening part!
Stupid shit for toady (actually that's today spelled wrong...), but I think her name is Toady. She's teaching me hot yoga, or maybe feeding me cold yogurt, haven't figured that part out yet. Naked, sweaty, and covered with yogurt is pretty sensual, frightening, and funny...if you're into that sort of thing. I better get a towel and wipe this stuff off, it's getting all over my paper while I'm trying to write something perfect. Hold that pose honey, someone's at the door, maybe the UPS guy bringing the parts to fix my car..., maybe he knows what I should write. I think I'll yell at him out the window to leave the stuff on the porch..., damn window's all fogged up from the hot yoga and stuck shut. Oh well, he'll figure it out, in the meantime where was I, that's right I was getting a towel, wow she's been holding that pose for a while, wonder if she's ok? Hey sweetie, you can relax now, sweetie...uh oh, I think she's stuck, her legs are wrapped around her neck and she's twisted like a pretzel standing on her head...the yogurt must have hardened, she looks like a yogurt covered pretzel, hey! I love those, I buy them at the health food store all the time, always wondered how they got the yogurt to harden. Well go figure, what do you know, this is a sight to see, an upside down yogurt covered pretzel with a bag over her head what the hell do I do now? I better call 911, no, no, bad idea, how will I ever explain this one. I know I'll look in the hot yoga manual that I just happened to pick up at the used book store last week, maybe there are instructions for this type of thing, let's see index, hmmm...what to do if a strange naked woman is stuck like an upside down yogurt covered pretzel in your bedroom at 3 in the morning with a bag on her head...nope, don't see that one. But wait a minute, what's this? How to write the perfect stupid ass story while a strange naked woman is stuck like an upside down yogurt covered pretzel in your bedroom at 3 in the morning with a bag on her head, now that's what I was looking for all along!
Are you still with me here, hope I didn't put you to sleep. That's ok if I did, that's what good stories are supposed to do. Anyway the book says that I'm supposed to write until I can't think of any more stupid shit to write about or my fingers fall off whichever comes first. Think I'll stop now, I'll catch you later when I think of something perfect to write about....hmmm, I wonder if she's a vegan?
Much Love and Peace
Robert
2016
Ok here goes; A naked ghost is hard to see....no, no, that's not it, lets try this; a horny spider ate Miss Muffet..., no, no, that's not it either, damn this is hard, I know you're getting frustrated, I'll hurry up..., no, no, I can't seem to find it, it's too dark, I'll have to try again. Damn it, I can't seem to get it right, lets see, maybe if I try harder..., no that's not working, maybe if the lights were on I could see what I was doing..., there that's better, oh no, what have I gotten myself into? Who are you? Do we know each other? This is frightening, but a little sensual, and actually pretty funny..., how did you get in here anyway? Well, now that you're here maybe you can help me, I'm trying to write something sensual, frightening, and funny, any ideas? Shut the fuck up, who would have ever thought of that? Damn, and I thought I was writing this, when really it was you all along. We better hurry before someone realizes what we're doing here together. What is it that we're doing by the way? Oh yeah, that's right, something sensual, frightening, and funny, hey! stop tickling me and take that bag off your head so I can see your face, or wait maybe leave it on..., that might be the frightening part!
Stupid shit for toady (actually that's today spelled wrong...), but I think her name is Toady. She's teaching me hot yoga, or maybe feeding me cold yogurt, haven't figured that part out yet. Naked, sweaty, and covered with yogurt is pretty sensual, frightening, and funny...if you're into that sort of thing. I better get a towel and wipe this stuff off, it's getting all over my paper while I'm trying to write something perfect. Hold that pose honey, someone's at the door, maybe the UPS guy bringing the parts to fix my car..., maybe he knows what I should write. I think I'll yell at him out the window to leave the stuff on the porch..., damn window's all fogged up from the hot yoga and stuck shut. Oh well, he'll figure it out, in the meantime where was I, that's right I was getting a towel, wow she's been holding that pose for a while, wonder if she's ok? Hey sweetie, you can relax now, sweetie...uh oh, I think she's stuck, her legs are wrapped around her neck and she's twisted like a pretzel standing on her head...the yogurt must have hardened, she looks like a yogurt covered pretzel, hey! I love those, I buy them at the health food store all the time, always wondered how they got the yogurt to harden. Well go figure, what do you know, this is a sight to see, an upside down yogurt covered pretzel with a bag over her head what the hell do I do now? I better call 911, no, no, bad idea, how will I ever explain this one. I know I'll look in the hot yoga manual that I just happened to pick up at the used book store last week, maybe there are instructions for this type of thing, let's see index, hmmm...what to do if a strange naked woman is stuck like an upside down yogurt covered pretzel in your bedroom at 3 in the morning with a bag on her head...nope, don't see that one. But wait a minute, what's this? How to write the perfect stupid ass story while a strange naked woman is stuck like an upside down yogurt covered pretzel in your bedroom at 3 in the morning with a bag on her head, now that's what I was looking for all along!
Are you still with me here, hope I didn't put you to sleep. That's ok if I did, that's what good stories are supposed to do. Anyway the book says that I'm supposed to write until I can't think of any more stupid shit to write about or my fingers fall off whichever comes first. Think I'll stop now, I'll catch you later when I think of something perfect to write about....hmmm, I wonder if she's a vegan?
Much Love and Peace
Robert
2016
Hi,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this blog.
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