Here With Me

I don't know where you are tonight
I don't know where you are tonight
But I know you're not here with me

You know darling
we've been together for so many years
We fought a lot of battles
and cried our share of tears

But I don't know where you are tonight
I don't know where you are tonight
But I know you're not here with me

You know baby
there's nothing we haven't been through
And there's no one else
I'd rather be with than you

But I don't know where you are tonight
I don't know where you are tonight
But I know you're not here with me

And I know you're not here with me

I don't know where you are tonight
I don't know where you are tonight
But I know you're not here with me


Here is a link to the song:

https://youtu.be/M4JVdgvQoOI

Headphones for best sound quality

Much Love and Peace


Happy New Year


Robert
2015

Write

Write for the beauty

Write for the desire

Write to seek the truth

Write to understand

Write to ease the soul 

Write to pass the time

Write to express feelings

Write to tell a story

Write to paint a picture

Write to uncover

Write to sing a song

Write to wish

Write to dream

Write to make love

Write to heal

Write to me



Robert
2015

Nothing

Nothing hurts more than love lost, whether by death, deeds, or words.


Robert
2015

New Year (hope its a good one...)

Thank you to everyone for your kind words of inspiration and support. You may not be aware of how much a few words mean to me. As this year winds down I just wanted to say thank you.

I never knew that I was a writer, or could write words that touch other people’s hearts, and I still have problems with accepting that fact. It is only when people tell me to continue and that my words have value do I try and let it sink in. I have to admit out of everyone the readers of this blog probably know me the best through my writing. Yes, I have friends and family that have known and loved me for many years, but even they do not read or try to understand what goes on in my head. To most I have always been just a little left of center, weird, strange, but always creative. Maybe it’s from growing up during the time and place where I did, the drugs, the music, and the craziness have all had an effect on my thinking. I was one of the few people who actually believed that we could change the world through love and that free was not just a concept but an idea that could be lived by. Unfortunately, as we all know the world that we live in does not run by these principles, instead it is dictated mostly by greed and lust for power, and in order to survive in it we have to adapt to its ways.

Most of the problems that I have faced in life have been a result of my unwillingness to give up on the notions that I learned many years ago. Even now my current situation is most likely because of a result of my lack of caring about what most people hold so dear. Not to say that I do not appreciate material things, but I have learned that they are not the end to the means. A person can have all the money and material objects in the world and still cry themselves to sleep at night after suffering the loss of a loved one. If I have but one thing to say it is that love is powerful and that we are all connected in some strange but fascinating way. It has taken me many years and much pain to reach the place where I am at in my life, and at times I still question many of the decisions that I have made and continue to make, even now while I am writing this. Hopefully I do not delete these words before they get posted.

Together, we have been able to write some beautiful poems and songs and I would hope to continue. I have to tell you though that it may be time for me to move on, I am not certain that this is the place that I am supposed to end up. There are some things that I would like to finish up, the Cryptic story has a few more chapters to be written, I would like to move my writing as discussed previously to the .com location where I can share my writing, music, photography, and craft work, and I would like to carry the weekly photo journal to 52 for one full year. After that I may have to start looking for another place to live and other stories to write. This place where I am at  currently as you may or may not know was never really meant to be a long term solution, although it is beautiful and I love living here, the isolation and being alone may be good for writing, but not so good for my mental health, it is terribly painful at times, and I yearn for the comfort of other loving souls to share my physical life with and not just my words.

My only fear is that what I search for may not exist. As much as I loathe the city for its traffic, congestion, and overall unhealthiness, maybe it is where I belong in order to share with and be around other likeminded people. It would be nice if I could figure out a way to support myself with my writing but that dream most likely will never become a reality. I am just not certain that I have the time left or the talent to pursue writing, music, and art as a career path. Who knows though, I have thought of publishing some things to see if there is any interest, and currently have about 15 songs posted to my YouTube channel in various stages of life. Listen to me, my right side brain the one that works for a living is talking now. I am like the Kristofferson song that goes “he's a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction”. Hey, a person has to eat, and who would have ever thought that I would have come this far, so who knows what lies ahead. As I often say a person must have dreams, and dreams are only realities yet to come true. I know when I first got here to this house I dreamt of making this place into a refuge for artists and musicians to come to relax, unwind, write, paint, or just do nothing but hang out...or maybe that's just what I want to do.

Anyway, rambling now, just wanted to share some thoughts and spend a few minutes writing. I have to go in for some tests on Monday that may or may not have a big impact on all of the above. Won’t have the results for a couple of weeks, but will keep you posted.

Thanks for reading and keeping me in your thoughts. Best wishes for the New Year.

 

Much Love and Peace

Robert
2015

Week 29

 

Maybe, I fell in love with a thought, an idea, the possibilities.

To express love is to feel. To feel love is to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable is dangerous, but to live in fear and without love is not living.


Robert
2015




 

Week 28

I love to write. Even when I don’t know what to say I love to write. I like typing onto this computer screen. Sometimes I write on my note pad and then transfer it to here. I need the muse to return though, I fear. As I sit here watching the water and tides through my window my mind drifts, not to any particular thing, but just drifts almost like it has a blank page too. Decisions are weighing heavy on me and it feels good to drift. Just watch the water and let the mind drift, while my fingers glide over these keys. There are many things that need to get done but I just drift. Drifting only lasts for short periods and gets interrupted easily, so enjoy it while it happens.

I am not alone. I have the sky, the water, the birds, the waves, and the wind around me. I have my dog for company, and I have my computer for writing. The telephone provides communication with those who care, and my car takes me places that I need to go. It is only when I think about what I do not have is when I start to feel loneliness. I am not alone as long as you read this and think of me. The gift of friendship is a powerful anti-depressant that works far better than any drug.

Guess I’m done with this, interruptions abound.

Much love and peace

 

Robert

2015

Some Days

Some days don't feel like living....

but just going through the motions waiting to die.

Pretty fucking depressing.... some days are just like that.

Some days don't feel like saying much....

but just going through the motions waiting for something to say.

C'mon sunrise do your thing....brighten this shit up, make the connection.

Energy and light travels through space and time, as does love.

From me to you....much love and peace.

Now that feels better, like living. The purpose for living is to share love.

Some days feel like living.... just going through the motions sharing the love

Some days feel like saying a lot....just had to write it down to know what it was.



Robert
2015


 

Week 28 (It's Just Another Weird Dream)

Truck won’t start
Truck won’t start
Damn it
Truck won’t start
As he sat in the driver’s seat cussing
at the big white vehicle piled high with all their stuff in it.
Meanwhile back downtown at the corner store
the bulldozer started right up when the old man hopped on it
and proceeded to crash right through the storefront window
and out onto the street.
To top it off he couldn’t get the damn thing to stop
and plowed over everything in his way all over town.

The kitchen knife had something to do with the elixir of life
that sat on the shelf, and now the young man held the knife in his hand
as he watched the old man take a drink from the little blue bottle.
Not trying to bring attention,
the older man tried to distract the younger version of himself
by changing the subject quickly
to some science fiction magazines that were laying around the room.
The magazines had pictures of long legged, big eyed alien creatures on them,
“we don’t have any Playboys”, he said, “we’ll have some soon though”,
as they walked out of the room and down the hall.
The young man gave back the knife and it was set on the shelf
next to the bottle where it belonged.

Then I woke up, let the dog out, and went upstairs to bed.

Robert

2015

The River

"How do I practically live a life like this, where I make the kind of connections that I’m very frightened of, but I feel that if I don’t make, I’m going to disappear or get lost? A creative life, an imagined life, is not a life. It’s merely something you’ve created, it’s merely a story. A story is not a life. A story is just a story. So I was trying to link this stuff up in a way where I thought I could save myself from my darker inclinations by moving into an imagined community where people were struggling with all those things in a very real way. And that was the community I created on The River."

Bruce Springsteen


Living at the river and writing about connections, a very strange coincidence, if you believe in coincidence.

Robert
2015

Love at Sunrise

Sunrise makes a good lover whispering
golden propositions on a melancholic morn.
The horizon but a thread separating the earth and sky,
with white capped waves draped like linen sheets.
A bold silhouette awakens wrapped in silence,
unfolding layers of orange and blue,
while other times revealing only shades of gray.
Promises kept, quietly sitting along the river’s bed,
as gilded lips softly caress the wind, and
innocence becomes a faded memory.
  
Robert
2015
  

Debt (The Video)

The poem Debt was written and posted to this blog on Sunday February 14, 2010.

I have taken it today, put a melody to it, recorded, and made a video using photos that I took in an old house that I was compelled to enter for some strange reason last summer.

I have been experimenting with different recording techniques in order to learn and become a better artist.

The video with recording and video effects is kind of eerie, the poem being about an old message of making a dangerous pact in order to receive diabolical favors, with the debt being eternal damnation.

Here is the link to "Debt"

https://youtu.be/aZDIrnsrOKQ

Put headphones on for best sound


Debt

Would you sell your soul for a dollar
And let others dictate your views

Would you compromise all of your principles
Allow greed to alter your mind

Do you believe in the lies that they tell you
Put your faith in the words of a few

Are you driven in your search by your conscience
Or by lust for the things you don't have

Do you mask your intentions with good deeds
To hide your insatiable needs

Is compassion something you live by
Or do you kick it to the side of the curb

Is beauty the nature that surrounds you
Or the wax on your shiny new car

I have a story to tell you
About a person who was once just like you

Would you trample the poor and the crippled
While you make your ascent to the top

There are people in the world around you
Who will tell you what you want to hear

They are driven by things that may surprise you
If the truth is what you hold dear

Just be careful my friend because in the end
Your debt will have to be paid


Robert
2015


 

Hang On

Not such a good night
Running late and sound problems
New songs sounded pretty bad to me
Made myself do it is the important thing
Not sure of much of anything right now
Except that it feels good to be around people
Instead of being alone
Not having anyone
Makes you appreciate everyone
I guess I forgot that
Had to be reminded
Always the hard way for me
So now what?
Can't go backwards
Have to keep moving forward
Hang on
There's more to come
Don't give up before the miracle happens

Robert
2015

Week 27 (Into The Fog)

I look out into the fog of the late morning.
Against the shore waves splash silently.
The leaves are mostly fallen to the ground,
damp from the morning rain.
I keep a picture of you close
to remind me of our time together,
and to dream of days to come.
The green metal roof shines,
wet,
reflecting light from behind todays gray covered sky.
I hear voices from the other room,
a radio, perhaps telling me the news.
Another day alone without you.
This may be my last time that I have an opportunity
to write to you my darling,
the days may be few,
and I want you to know how I feel.

You see,

I may have leaned a little too hard,
I may have said some things the wrong way,
and I may not have heard you when you cried.
Please forgive me, and hold my memory close.

I will be the light of the morning sky,

and the wind as it blows warm from the south.
I will be that first kiss on your lips,
and the one who tucks you into bed.
I will be the hand that carries you safely
Through the rough and tumble world.
I will be there always to carry you
As you carried me

Robert
2015

 

If You Know What I mean

Lonely and horny are a difficult combination

Kind of like slippery when wet
It’s the combinations that always get me in trouble
Add whiskey and water and I ain’t been seen
For days
Sometimes come home with a new friend
From dancing in the rain
Or take matters into my own hands
If you know what I mean
The latter being the most economical
Just takes a little more imagination
So, can you help a brother out?
I’m only human far from a saint
Don’t be surprised or angry
It’s ok if you can’t
I’ll try to stay sober
I should just shut up I’ve been told
If I can
Turn down the lights
And come to bed
Cause
Tonight’s bad boy is tomorrow’s good man

If you know what I mean

Much Love and Peace

Robert

2015


 

Don't Know No World

Don’t know no world

Where my brother lives
The one down the street
Or the one around the globe
Don’t know no world
Where my brother lives
Where there is no hunger
Where there is no hate
Where people of all colors
Religions and race
Break bread together
Don’t know no world
Where my brother lives
Where young hang out with old
Where it’s cool to be different
Where the grass is greener
Where money is no object
Don’t know no world
Where my sister lives
Where we walk without fear
Where we are all treated equally
Where one size fits all
Where we live without shame
Don’t know no world
Where we all live
Where love is real not just a concept
Where peace is important
Where all lives matter

https://youtu.be/CTlmAG_180g

Robert

2015

 

WGAS

This post is about giving a shit. Who does and who doesn’t is always a question that people ask. I even heard someone mumble it under their breath the other day, “that son of a bitch doesn’t give a shit about me”, wow, the person was drunk at noon so they probably didn’t even know they said it… Anyway let’s dive right in to this topic.

Should we give a shit, and if so to what extent, and what about? Is there a reasonable amount of GAS that one should be aware of and give freely, say a percentage of daily thought? I know we have all said it “I don’t give a shit”, when in reality we really did, but only said it to protect our feelings. This is kind of like saying that you love me when you really don’t, well maybe not, but who gives a shit, right?

“I do”, is the appropriate answer I suppose to most times when presented with the question of WGAS. But what if you don’t either, should you respond “that’s cool”, or “me either”, or “yeah f... that”. Or you know there is a another form of WGAS, and that would be WGAF, but that form is a little more vulgar and less likely to be used when around Grandma or when in some other proper type settings. Personally I like WGAF better, it comes across as hard core and that I really mean it, even if I don’t.

“Does it really matter”, that’s a good one too, and can be used when the other two are totally inappropriate for the setting. This is a mild form of WGAS and only used when discussing things that matter I guess? “Nothing really matters” is what I have heard some people say, but that is so far from the truth because everything matters in some way, it’s just whether we GAS if they matter or not is what is relevant to this discussion.

So, do you GAS about this topic or not, and do you GAS about me writing about this topic? I would suppose most likely not, although you may say that you do just not to hurt my feelings. In reality should I GAS about what anyone thinks about what I write anyway? If someone does not GAS about what I write they would not be reading this in the first place I suppose, so let’s dispense with the bullshit I don't GAS and get down to the truth of the matter. We all GAS too much when we shouldn’t, and don’t GAS enough when we probably should.

I have always been confused on what to say when, and usually say the wrong thing at the wrong time which is probably what I am doing now, and why most people don’t GAS about me, is what my head tells me, now if it’s true who knows or….who GAS, that’s right, I said it, but only to protect my feelings because I really want someone to GAS about me. Sometimes whether I GAS or not depends on if I have been drinking. Alcohol has a way of bringing out the best WGAS in all of us, just like the guy who I mentioned in the beginning of this story, even though I have no clue what he was mumbling about or even if it was being directed at me.

Is this a stupid story or what? I must be really bored to be writing this, or I feel that I have hurt your feelings and I GAS about them. That's OK if you don't GAS about me, I understand, I happened to think about it and wanted to write, that’s what makes me different. So there you go, from a person who GAS to hopefully someone reading this who GAS too, and forgives me if my feelings are correct.

Crazy, right!

Much Love and Peace
 

Robert
2015

Week 26

Thankful to have a place to lay my head without fear. Thankful to have food on my table to sustain my life. Thankful for my family that keep me in their hearts. Thankful to have work to keep the fires burning. Thankful for the friends that I have to lean on as I stumble through life. Thankful for the inspiration that gives me ideas and thoughts. Thankful for the courage to walk through fear to follow my path.

On this day of thanks I offer only one thing, myself. Please accept me for who I am. Please take me into your loving grace, hold and comfort me, as you are my rock that anchors, and my sails to catch the wind.

 

Until we meet again,

Much Love and Peace


Robert
2015

If All I Can Have

If all I can have are your words
Then I will read every minute of my life
If all I can have is your song
Then I will fall asleep listening

and dream of all the things that you are

Write
Sing

If all I can have is your touch
Then let me feel it in my heart
If all I can have is your picture
Then let me gaze into your eyes

and see the beauty that is within your soul

Touch
See

If all I can have are your thoughts
Then I will think of you always
If all I can have is your love
Then I will never let it go

and walk arm in arm together forever

Think
Love


Robert
2015

Scarlet Words

 

Lying quietly on a soft and warm robe of velveteen,

envisioning notions of a wandering affair,

while letting naked emotions subtly be seen.

Brilliant, but repressed, anxious to let down pulled back hair,

and slip out of too comfortable boots and faded jeans.

Me, I’m just sitting by the pool

watching lily white transform into a healthy shade of red.

I know the truth but it’s hidden behind the angst of a fool

loitering somewhere in my unforgiving tormented head.

Words call out amongst a smoke and mirror parade,

of countless fantasies left unfulfilled wanting to be said.

Not to squeeze the anguish as passion only dares,

but to release the disappointments of old ruby crowns and sparkled hair.

Open doorways expose life’s pointed curves,

as scarlet words suggest a point well served.

Be forewarned though, unprotected hearts become easily tempted

by visions of a necklace of enraptured nerve.

Go, rest your fiery eyes on a chair of passion red,

be gentle, and let your mind and spirit roam.

Bare your soul and know that without true love

it's sometimes cold and frightening to be alone.

But, if dreams are a place where you haven't slept,

and you desire to kiss the sunrise as night turns into dawn,

then I suggest as life and love await your bare hearts breast,

take the key that has been left, stoke the fire, feed the soul,

and read these words each night before you rest.

 

Much Love and Peace

 

 

Robert
2015

 

For A Walk

Waves crash

Birds fly

Clouds

of silk

Hover

In the

Morning sky

A

Fisherman’s boat

Passes by

Head to the west

To parts

Unknown

Or

Journey east

Not far

From home

I ask myself

Too many things

About life

Big and small

When

I

Should be

Playing

With my dog

Or

Going

For a walk

 

 

Robert

2015

Love As Well As Hate

I’ve been a little worried and a little scared
For peaceful people everywhere

Why did our differences drive us apart

Now revenge instead of love is in my heart

I guess I shouldn't blame them all

Open my mind and the gate to my walls

Let the ones who suffer from the wrath
Find a way along my path

Killing what  doesn't think like me
Turning families into refugees

From where I stand is what I see
Dictators and slavery

Most of the prophets that I have read
Don't cry about wanting me dead

Or paying taxes to keep my head
Because I keep a bible by my bed

Bombs don't discriminate
They kill love as well as hate


https://youtu.be/4WP-yk44C_0

 

Robert
2015

Week 25

I have learned quite a bit recently from raising a puppy, many things, but mostly the art of distraction.

She is a good dog that sometimes behaves badly but then quickly changes when I offer a distraction.

I have come to believe that people in power have learned this art of distraction to keep us from focusing on the important issues and relevant topics that relate to our general well being.

Problem is I think the dog is learning the trick, and we are too.

 

Much Love and Peace

Robert
2015

 

Wall Of Stone

Em                                C      D                             Em

You can only cry for so long until you cry out of tears.

You were there when I was down on that cold and lonely day

We could spend our lives in the love that we just made.
Another day another lover in a string of one night stands.

Just a lonely fool trying to find you once again.

My bags are always packed as I travel life alone.

Because lonely is a place behind this wall of stone.

  

You can only cry for so long until you cry out of tears.

You were there when I was down on that cold and lonely day

We could spend our lives in the love that we just made.

Another day another lover in a string of one night stands.

Just a lonely fool trying to find you once again.

My bags are always packed as I travel life alone.

Because lonely is a place behind this wall of stone.

Because lonely is a place behind this wall of stone.

 

Robert

2015   

 

She Is

She doesn’t really want to go anywhere
She just longs to feel freedom
She’s loyal and sort of obedient
When I give her freedom she still wants
To be with me just wild by nature
She runs off now and then and
I have to chase her
She is not running away only curious
She needs to be protected
Until peace can find its way in this world
As I watch her grow I am learning
The sense of friendship
I feel that I made the right choice
Of a companion that will last a lifetime
Love is strange and wonderful
The answer to all questions
Innocent and unknowing
She is


Love (Peace will follow)

Robert

2015

As You Awaken

As you awaken on a silken bed

Passion flames gentle words be said
Flowing hair tossed to the wind
As loving skin touches skin
Outside dancing in bare feet
Hearts of poppies slightly beat
Lay back on satin only angels know
Let your imagined musings flow
Enjoy the silent pleasures bliss
To a soft awakened morning kiss


Robert
2015

Once Eaten

The forbidden fruit

Let its essence

Cover your soul

It is given with trust

Taken with innocence

Filled with passion

Seeds of eternal lust

Inflamed by desire

Deep emotions

Slightly revealed

Through the lace of shadows

Softly laid across naked truth

Blurred senses transform

Affection into envy

Passion into greed

Tolerance into egotism

Contentment into unhappiness

Equality into injustice

Long for the moment

Wait for the sound

Anticipate the feeling

Enjoy the pleasure

Ripe and full

Gone is innocence

Never to return

Once eaten

 

Robert

2015