Thank you to everyone for your kind words of inspiration and support. You
may not be aware of how much a few words mean to me. As this year winds down I just wanted to say thank you.
I never knew that I was a writer, or could write words that
touch other people’s hearts, and I still have problems with accepting that
fact. It is only when people tell me to continue and that my words
have value do I try and let it sink in. I have to admit out of everyone the readers of this blog probably know me the best through my writing. Yes, I have friends
and family that have known and loved me for many years, but even they do not read or try
to understand what goes on in my head. To most I have always been just a little
left of center, weird, strange, but always creative. Maybe it’s from growing up
during the time and place where I did, the drugs, the music, and the craziness have
all had an effect on my thinking. I was one of the few people who actually
believed that we could change the world through love and that free was not just
a concept but an idea that could be lived by. Unfortunately, as we all know the
world that we live in does not run by these principles, instead it is dictated
mostly by greed and lust for power, and in order to survive in it we have to
adapt to its ways.
Most of the problems that I have faced in life have been a
result of my unwillingness to give up on the notions that I learned many years
ago. Even now my current situation is most likely because of a result of my
lack of caring about what most people hold so dear. Not to say that I do not
appreciate material things, but I have learned that they are not the end to the
means. A person can have all the money and material objects in the world and still
cry themselves to sleep at night after suffering the loss of a loved one. If I
have but one thing to say it is that love is powerful and that we are all
connected in some strange but fascinating way. It has taken me many years and
much pain to reach the place where I am at in my life, and at times I
still question many of the decisions that I have made and continue to make,
even now while I am writing this. Hopefully I do not delete these words before they get posted.
Together, we have been able to write some beautiful
poems and songs and I would hope to continue. I
have to tell you though that it may be time for me to move on, I am not certain
that this is the place that I am supposed to end up. There are some things that
I would like to finish up, the Cryptic story has a few more chapters to be
written, I would like to move my writing as discussed previously to the .com
location where I can share my writing, music, photography, and craft work, and I would like
to carry the weekly photo journal to 52 for one full year. After that I may
have to start looking for another place to live and other stories to write.
This place where I am at currently as you may or may not know was never really meant to be a long term solution, although it is beautiful and I love living here, the isolation and being
alone may be good for writing, but not so good for my mental health, it is
terribly painful at times, and I yearn for the comfort of other
loving souls to share my physical life with and not just my words.
My only fear is that what I search for may not exist. As much as I loathe the city for its traffic,
congestion, and overall unhealthiness, maybe it is where I belong in order to
share with and be around other likeminded people. It would be nice if I could figure out a way to
support myself with my writing but that dream most likely will never become a reality. I
am just not certain that I have the time left or the talent to pursue writing,
music, and art as a career path. Who knows though, I have thought of publishing
some things to see if there is any interest, and currently have about 15 songs posted to my YouTube channel in various stages of life. Listen to me, my right side brain
the one that works for a living is talking now. I am like the Kristofferson
song that goes “he's a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction”. Hey, a person has to eat, and who would have ever thought that I would have come this far, so who knows what lies ahead. As I often say a person must have dreams, and dreams are only realities yet to come true. I know when I first got here to this house I dreamt of making this place into a refuge for artists and musicians to come to relax, unwind, write, paint, or just do nothing but hang out...or maybe that's just what I want to do.
Anyway, rambling now, just wanted to share some thoughts and
spend a few minutes writing. I have to go in for some tests on Monday
that may or may not have a big impact on all of the above. Won’t have the
results for a couple of weeks, but will keep you posted.
Thanks for reading and keeping me in your thoughts. Best wishes for the New Year.
Much Love and Peace
Robert
2015
No comments:
Post a Comment