Here With Me

I don't know where you are tonight
I don't know where you are tonight
But I know you're not here with me

You know darling
we've been together for so many years
We fought a lot of battles
and cried our share of tears

But I don't know where you are tonight
I don't know where you are tonight
But I know you're not here with me

You know baby
there's nothing we haven't been through
And there's no one else
I'd rather be with than you

But I don't know where you are tonight
I don't know where you are tonight
But I know you're not here with me

And I know you're not here with me

I don't know where you are tonight
I don't know where you are tonight
But I know you're not here with me


Here is a link to the song:

https://youtu.be/M4JVdgvQoOI

Headphones for best sound quality

Much Love and Peace


Happy New Year


Robert
2015

Write

Write for the beauty

Write for the desire

Write to seek the truth

Write to understand

Write to ease the soul 

Write to pass the time

Write to express feelings

Write to tell a story

Write to paint a picture

Write to uncover

Write to sing a song

Write to wish

Write to dream

Write to make love

Write to heal

Write to me



Robert
2015

Nothing

Nothing hurts more than love lost, whether by death, deeds, or words.


Robert
2015

New Year (hope its a good one...)

Thank you to everyone for your kind words of inspiration and support. You may not be aware of how much a few words mean to me. As this year winds down I just wanted to say thank you.

I never knew that I was a writer, or could write words that touch other people’s hearts, and I still have problems with accepting that fact. It is only when people tell me to continue and that my words have value do I try and let it sink in. I have to admit out of everyone the readers of this blog probably know me the best through my writing. Yes, I have friends and family that have known and loved me for many years, but even they do not read or try to understand what goes on in my head. To most I have always been just a little left of center, weird, strange, but always creative. Maybe it’s from growing up during the time and place where I did, the drugs, the music, and the craziness have all had an effect on my thinking. I was one of the few people who actually believed that we could change the world through love and that free was not just a concept but an idea that could be lived by. Unfortunately, as we all know the world that we live in does not run by these principles, instead it is dictated mostly by greed and lust for power, and in order to survive in it we have to adapt to its ways.

Most of the problems that I have faced in life have been a result of my unwillingness to give up on the notions that I learned many years ago. Even now my current situation is most likely because of a result of my lack of caring about what most people hold so dear. Not to say that I do not appreciate material things, but I have learned that they are not the end to the means. A person can have all the money and material objects in the world and still cry themselves to sleep at night after suffering the loss of a loved one. If I have but one thing to say it is that love is powerful and that we are all connected in some strange but fascinating way. It has taken me many years and much pain to reach the place where I am at in my life, and at times I still question many of the decisions that I have made and continue to make, even now while I am writing this. Hopefully I do not delete these words before they get posted.

Together, we have been able to write some beautiful poems and songs and I would hope to continue. I have to tell you though that it may be time for me to move on, I am not certain that this is the place that I am supposed to end up. There are some things that I would like to finish up, the Cryptic story has a few more chapters to be written, I would like to move my writing as discussed previously to the .com location where I can share my writing, music, photography, and craft work, and I would like to carry the weekly photo journal to 52 for one full year. After that I may have to start looking for another place to live and other stories to write. This place where I am at  currently as you may or may not know was never really meant to be a long term solution, although it is beautiful and I love living here, the isolation and being alone may be good for writing, but not so good for my mental health, it is terribly painful at times, and I yearn for the comfort of other loving souls to share my physical life with and not just my words.

My only fear is that what I search for may not exist. As much as I loathe the city for its traffic, congestion, and overall unhealthiness, maybe it is where I belong in order to share with and be around other likeminded people. It would be nice if I could figure out a way to support myself with my writing but that dream most likely will never become a reality. I am just not certain that I have the time left or the talent to pursue writing, music, and art as a career path. Who knows though, I have thought of publishing some things to see if there is any interest, and currently have about 15 songs posted to my YouTube channel in various stages of life. Listen to me, my right side brain the one that works for a living is talking now. I am like the Kristofferson song that goes “he's a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction”. Hey, a person has to eat, and who would have ever thought that I would have come this far, so who knows what lies ahead. As I often say a person must have dreams, and dreams are only realities yet to come true. I know when I first got here to this house I dreamt of making this place into a refuge for artists and musicians to come to relax, unwind, write, paint, or just do nothing but hang out...or maybe that's just what I want to do.

Anyway, rambling now, just wanted to share some thoughts and spend a few minutes writing. I have to go in for some tests on Monday that may or may not have a big impact on all of the above. Won’t have the results for a couple of weeks, but will keep you posted.

Thanks for reading and keeping me in your thoughts. Best wishes for the New Year.

 

Much Love and Peace

Robert
2015

Week 29

 

Maybe, I fell in love with a thought, an idea, the possibilities.

To express love is to feel. To feel love is to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable is dangerous, but to live in fear and without love is not living.


Robert
2015




 

Week 28

I love to write. Even when I don’t know what to say I love to write. I like typing onto this computer screen. Sometimes I write on my note pad and then transfer it to here. I need the muse to return though, I fear. As I sit here watching the water and tides through my window my mind drifts, not to any particular thing, but just drifts almost like it has a blank page too. Decisions are weighing heavy on me and it feels good to drift. Just watch the water and let the mind drift, while my fingers glide over these keys. There are many things that need to get done but I just drift. Drifting only lasts for short periods and gets interrupted easily, so enjoy it while it happens.

I am not alone. I have the sky, the water, the birds, the waves, and the wind around me. I have my dog for company, and I have my computer for writing. The telephone provides communication with those who care, and my car takes me places that I need to go. It is only when I think about what I do not have is when I start to feel loneliness. I am not alone as long as you read this and think of me. The gift of friendship is a powerful anti-depressant that works far better than any drug.

Guess I’m done with this, interruptions abound.

Much love and peace

 

Robert

2015

Some Days

Some days don't feel like living....

but just going through the motions waiting to die.

Pretty fucking depressing.... some days are just like that.

Some days don't feel like saying much....

but just going through the motions waiting for something to say.

C'mon sunrise do your thing....brighten this shit up, make the connection.

Energy and light travels through space and time, as does love.

From me to you....much love and peace.

Now that feels better, like living. The purpose for living is to share love.

Some days feel like living.... just going through the motions sharing the love

Some days feel like saying a lot....just had to write it down to know what it was.



Robert
2015


 

Week 28 (It's Just Another Weird Dream)

Truck won’t start
Truck won’t start
Damn it
Truck won’t start
As he sat in the driver’s seat cussing
at the big white vehicle piled high with all their stuff in it.
Meanwhile back downtown at the corner store
the bulldozer started right up when the old man hopped on it
and proceeded to crash right through the storefront window
and out onto the street.
To top it off he couldn’t get the damn thing to stop
and plowed over everything in his way all over town.

The kitchen knife had something to do with the elixir of life
that sat on the shelf, and now the young man held the knife in his hand
as he watched the old man take a drink from the little blue bottle.
Not trying to bring attention,
the older man tried to distract the younger version of himself
by changing the subject quickly
to some science fiction magazines that were laying around the room.
The magazines had pictures of long legged, big eyed alien creatures on them,
“we don’t have any Playboys”, he said, “we’ll have some soon though”,
as they walked out of the room and down the hall.
The young man gave back the knife and it was set on the shelf
next to the bottle where it belonged.

Then I woke up, let the dog out, and went upstairs to bed.

Robert

2015

The River

"How do I practically live a life like this, where I make the kind of connections that I’m very frightened of, but I feel that if I don’t make, I’m going to disappear or get lost? A creative life, an imagined life, is not a life. It’s merely something you’ve created, it’s merely a story. A story is not a life. A story is just a story. So I was trying to link this stuff up in a way where I thought I could save myself from my darker inclinations by moving into an imagined community where people were struggling with all those things in a very real way. And that was the community I created on The River."

Bruce Springsteen


Living at the river and writing about connections, a very strange coincidence, if you believe in coincidence.

Robert
2015

Love at Sunrise

Sunrise makes a good lover whispering
golden propositions on a melancholic morn.
The horizon but a thread separating the earth and sky,
with white capped waves draped like linen sheets.
A bold silhouette awakens wrapped in silence,
unfolding layers of orange and blue,
while other times revealing only shades of gray.
Promises kept, quietly sitting along the river’s bed,
as gilded lips softly caress the wind, and
innocence becomes a faded memory.
  
Robert
2015
  

Debt (The Video)

The poem Debt was written and posted to this blog on Sunday February 14, 2010.

I have taken it today, put a melody to it, recorded, and made a video using photos that I took in an old house that I was compelled to enter for some strange reason last summer.

I have been experimenting with different recording techniques in order to learn and become a better artist.

The video with recording and video effects is kind of eerie, the poem being about an old message of making a dangerous pact in order to receive diabolical favors, with the debt being eternal damnation.

Here is the link to "Debt"

https://youtu.be/aZDIrnsrOKQ

Put headphones on for best sound


Debt

Would you sell your soul for a dollar
And let others dictate your views

Would you compromise all of your principles
Allow greed to alter your mind

Do you believe in the lies that they tell you
Put your faith in the words of a few

Are you driven in your search by your conscience
Or by lust for the things you don't have

Do you mask your intentions with good deeds
To hide your insatiable needs

Is compassion something you live by
Or do you kick it to the side of the curb

Is beauty the nature that surrounds you
Or the wax on your shiny new car

I have a story to tell you
About a person who was once just like you

Would you trample the poor and the crippled
While you make your ascent to the top

There are people in the world around you
Who will tell you what you want to hear

They are driven by things that may surprise you
If the truth is what you hold dear

Just be careful my friend because in the end
Your debt will have to be paid


Robert
2015


 

Hang On

Not such a good night
Running late and sound problems
New songs sounded pretty bad to me
Made myself do it is the important thing
Not sure of much of anything right now
Except that it feels good to be around people
Instead of being alone
Not having anyone
Makes you appreciate everyone
I guess I forgot that
Had to be reminded
Always the hard way for me
So now what?
Can't go backwards
Have to keep moving forward
Hang on
There's more to come
Don't give up before the miracle happens

Robert
2015

Week 27 (Into The Fog)

I look out into the fog of the late morning.
Against the shore waves splash silently.
The leaves are mostly fallen to the ground,
damp from the morning rain.
I keep a picture of you close
to remind me of our time together,
and to dream of days to come.
The green metal roof shines,
wet,
reflecting light from behind todays gray covered sky.
I hear voices from the other room,
a radio, perhaps telling me the news.
Another day alone without you.
This may be my last time that I have an opportunity
to write to you my darling,
the days may be few,
and I want you to know how I feel.

You see,

I may have leaned a little too hard,
I may have said some things the wrong way,
and I may not have heard you when you cried.
Please forgive me, and hold my memory close.

I will be the light of the morning sky,

and the wind as it blows warm from the south.
I will be that first kiss on your lips,
and the one who tucks you into bed.
I will be the hand that carries you safely
Through the rough and tumble world.
I will be there always to carry you
As you carried me

Robert
2015

 

If You Know What I mean

Lonely and horny are a difficult combination

Kind of like slippery when wet
It’s the combinations that always get me in trouble
Add whiskey and water and I ain’t been seen
For days
Sometimes come home with a new friend
From dancing in the rain
Or take matters into my own hands
If you know what I mean
The latter being the most economical
Just takes a little more imagination
So, can you help a brother out?
I’m only human far from a saint
Don’t be surprised or angry
It’s ok if you can’t
I’ll try to stay sober
I should just shut up I’ve been told
If I can
Turn down the lights
And come to bed
Cause
Tonight’s bad boy is tomorrow’s good man

If you know what I mean

Much Love and Peace

Robert

2015